Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What happens when it's early morning and you have internet

So i was doing my rounds on the Internet this morning- i woke up randomly at like 4am so i decided to pick up my laptop and wonder aimlessly around the internet (that means facebook,, blogspot, myspace, and youtube :P). now while on youtube, i was watching some random videos from youtubers starting with littleradge, then robofillet, then some random ppl and finally to halfscottishguy. I was watching halfscottishguy's video named food for worms (which you will find a link for here) and he brought up the issue of religion. Now i know that religion is a touchy subject and if anyone is just passing by and sees this post almost all of those persons would automatically exit from the screen and move on with life
I can't blame them, the topic has the power to tear families apart
yet still i find it a subject that i don't mind talking about anyway because, if you know me, i am a christian and i do love Jesus.
again! if anyone had stayed long enough to get to the previous line, you probably automatically exited this page and moved on with life- probably cursing me a little while you did it.

now then, for the ones that i didn't lose, i hope you would read my post to the end and maybe leave a response for me- i don't know if anyone will or not but it would be nice to hear from someone.

Ok, so first off i wanted to just point out some of the things that HSG talked about in his video. On the topic of religion being a bad thing i agree fully with him. How is it that being 'religious' or believing in something fully and strongly is a bad thing? I understand the value of science and i understand the value of reason and i understand the value of proof but we are humans- we are people. we are different from what this world consists of. I have a mind, i imagine, i have complex thought. i love, i want, i need, i feel pain, i suffer, i fear. I am. Together we as people make a community- we make ourselves a tribe, a society a civilization! All civilizations at some point or the other make themselves a set of rules because they all come to the conclusion that there is a wrong and a right. You will never find any place ever that feels like anything goes. There hasn't and never will be a place on this earth where there will be a system that accepts there is no wrong or right. so in short, we have a conscious! how do you explain the idea of having a conscious? Science can explain a lot of things but it can't explain everything. I believe that there i a moment in every persons life that cannot be explained. There will be a point in time where you know something happened- if you tell anyone they might be able to explain it away, but you know, you know that there was something more that was going on in that moment. Science won't back it up and there is no proof to it but what you saw, felt, and experienced yourself- and yet it was still real.

If there is no such thing as magic, if there is no such thing as spirituality then why is it that so many people all over the world have had ridiculous supernatural moments? yea, i don't believe most of them either but still, there must be a reason for these encounters that cannot be explained (or maybe the yearning for such encounters?)

Anyway, back to HSG's video- he also mentioned something that i felt compelled to stew over a little. It was the idea of not forcing your beliefs on anyone else. That's the excuse and the warning that is used so often now a days that i think one should rethink the meaning of that phrase. What, really, is considered forcing your beliefs to another person? At what point is it considered force? Is it possible to just have a discussion about religion? is that considered forcing? I mean, if you know me, i'm a very argumentative person- not because i want to be annoying...usually...but because i like to be challenged. I like to push ppl and i liked to be pushed back- idk maybe there's not a lot of ppl like me out there. But i would think that religion would be a touchy yet interesting subject to have a conversation about- if both parties are willing. Ah! so that may be the problem!! sometimes both parties are not willing. But if someone is doing something like, oh i dunno... a blog? or a vlog? or anything like that? How can that be considered forcing your beliefs on others? the viewer has the option of tuning in or not- why must we say "I don't want to force my beliefs on theirs" when your not? all your doing is putting the belief that you feel is true out there for people to see and either take or leave.

Ok, to HSG's question- Do i believe in an afterlife? What do i think happens when we die?
HSG does not believe in anything- that there is nothing after death. Just darkness. I actually can understand how that could be a very releasing thought. It gives you the freedom to think that one should not waste time with foolishness and should live life to the fullest, go out, be! and then when you die, you have peace...
but what if that isn't the case? what if you wake up again to find out that death is not the end and that there is something more? I'm not going to use this to inject my own belief in God but the question still holds. What if you are wrong? We are wired to believe that there is something more that what this life is. Yea, i think in a society where progress and science runs ramped, ppl try to explain away the fact that there is nothing more and no supreme being but the idea still lingers in one's mind. No one says "but there is nothing." and just walks away without giving the idea a second thought.

What also stuck me in the video is the idea many people have now a days about their own personal beliefs. "this is what i believe happens" "this is who I think God is" "This is how I think we go to heaven"- we can't all be right if something happens after death. If we are all right and our afterlife caters to the belief system that we want then we accept the fact that we are all Gods (the Mormons don't look so crazy now do they?) and that we have the power to control how our heaven will be when we know we have no control over anything in the first place. If there is right and wrong, how is it that there can be no heaven AND hell? is the idea of a hell something that is feared? does it make one face up to the idea that some things in their life may have been wrong to do? If there is right or wrong, why believe in just a heaven? it makes no sense, logically speaking, to get rewarded after death just for the heck of it? if there isn't right or wrong, then why would there be a reward for just dying? If one believes in a heaven, there must be a kind of hell.

Of course, one may ask- "well Tabby, what if you're wrong?"
my answer is simply that i don't believe that i am wrong- in fact i'll go on to say that i know that i am not wrong. That i because i fully and totally, with all my mind and my being believe that there is a God and he has a Son named Jesus and he put his words into a book called the Bible. I can try to explain away why and how everything and anything could happen but in the end it wouldn't matter because some things in life can't be explained away. there is a layer of reality that should be recognized in one way or another that doesn't follow the rules of science.

I think people who don't have true faith, i mean a faith that you wake up thinking about and obsessing about, cannot understand what it means for one to know what they believe in is true. That is because that person has put all their trust, more trust than they would put on a life long best friend or themselves, into that faith. When you put all of yourself into something that is above human error there is no longer any 'i believe' there is only 'i know.' Or else, it means that you really are not sure and there fore you do not have all trust in what you are saying-it is prone to error.

That's all i have to say. Again, i do not believe in apologizing for my post because I am stating what i believe on my own sight. Leave a message if you like- i would enjoy reading something like i'm still on break ^_^

Peacing it <3

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I gotta new dress!!! XD

I gotta new dress!!!!
and it's crazy O.O

Now isn't that a crazy dress?!?!!!
got it from this new store in my mall called Know Style.
i can't wait to wear it! it will definately be my new party dress =3

recently i've been worrying about the pictures that i took on christmas because i realized that Christmas was the first time i had really used my flash class maybe?
haha, not so good :P! i probably did everything all wrong so it's very possible that i may not have any pictures up at all from christmas... =/

Ahhh well, it happens... ^_^

Peacing it <3>

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas...

So this post was getting really emo really quick, cause i was having a moment at like 1 this morning but i'm back and ready for the day :P (and i decided to start it all over)

Happy Christmas to Everyone- may all the desires of your heart come to life, and may God be with you all
I took some pictures of today so i'll update that when i get that film developed (so you can guess i did not get that dslr for chrstmas :P). What i DID get was a record player! =D
it's not the cool vintage one like the one i put up here before but it's nice anyway. actually it kind of reminds me of the 90's (don't ask me why...) but it's good, now i just need some
records to play and another needle- i umm, actually broke it trying to put the needle guard thing on it- yea it's a little ironic :P

now! it's time to help my mother make dinner ^_^
Peacing it <3

Sunday, December 21, 2008

out and about

i FINALLY got out of the house today... and i'm happy i did.
There was a terrible snow storm on friday so i sadly couldn't follow through with my plan to go out and attempt to take some snowy pictures... i want to get at least a roll in before i leave home.

I've been emotionally drained these past few days and i think it has something to do with being in the house for too long. I have come to the conclusion that very few people can be fully content with being by themselves for long periods of time- of course maybe that's just me =3.

Decided I'd put up my outfit today just because i was able to steal my mother's very nice camera for a while and because i don't think i really have done that recently...
( haven't even updated my flickr page since like forever!)

Ooo- look at that picture quality ^_^
so, it's not that great here yes, but it's a pretty good non-flash pic compared to my camera...
i really REALLY need a new digital- i should probably ask for one for Christmas?
(something besides the DSLR that is :P)
hat- delias
scarf- Italia!
sweater- express
blouse(under sweater)- H&M
tank(under sweater)- H&M
gray denim- American Apparel
boots- gift =D
bag- Urban Outfitters
Well i haven't done that in a long time :P

Tomorrow is suppose to be a fairly busy day too- but only if these snow storms tonight/tomorrow aren't that bad. If they are then i'll be a very bored girl once again T_T

Peacing it <3

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Keeping busy

I'm still really really bored but i'm trying to keep busy.
At the moment, I've been attempting to reach some goals and finish up some started projects.
For example, I've picked up knitting again. I have yet to finish my first scarf but now i decided to do my best to complete it by the end of the holiday.

I'm very tempted to just stop and move on to another yarn though. The one i chose to do this scarf with is very thin and for some crazy reason, i guess i thought that knitting a scarf out of neon green material would be a good idea O.o.
Whatever- it might as well. It's not like i have any money to buy any yarn with...

I've also been busy getting ready to do stuff this weekend. Of course it's the weekend before
Christmas and that's also when, most definitely, all of my friends will be back home for the holidays- which is good ^_^

I'm in desperate need for some wrapping paper tho- i dunno where it all went!!!!
geez, a girl leaves for a few m
onths and next thing you know, all the thing she had in her room are gone *sigh*

been robbed by the family...

well that's basically it. nothing too exciting for today really...
until tomorrow i suppose ^_^

Peacing it <3

*I actually remembered what i was going to put up here the first place ^_^*
So i was doing my runs on and found some pretty cool artists that i liked :P half for me to remember them, let me just put them up- i
tend to find and re-find bands until i decide it might be a good idea to save the artist

Lykke Li- Dance, Dance, Dance

I really like that song from her because it's so upbeat!!!
well it's not really really upbeat but it still makes me want to dance so i guess it counts =3

Cajun Dance Party

I think their pretty upbeat and crazy- i can't really find any full tracks anywhere which make me sad... (well of the tracks i want :P) WEEEELLL except no Joanna

Lightspeed Champion

I think his music is pretty sweet, i can't remember the tracks i like exactly but they all kind of relax me a bit :P- Myspace,

Good Shoes

I love that song Never Meant to Hurt you but their other songs are really good as well

ok- now i'm really done ^_^

Monday, December 15, 2008

Back Home for the Holidays...


Back home and there is NOTHING to dooooo...
everyone's still going through their finals week so i have the luxury of just laying here until my friends come back at the end of this week...

I've been too busy studying and trying to not fail my exams last week so i wasn't able to update like all.

It's good to be home, but i miss some of my friends from college (of course, i also needed to just get away from some of those people too...)
I thought that being home would be a relief as well but unfortunately, i have to face the people and the things that dro
ve me away from being here in the first place once again.

it just sucks to not find any refuge anywhere- no physical place for me to find peace and to be at peace...

I wonder if it's just me that has this problem. There's always someone who i manage to feel awkward around. There
's always something that makes me hate my current situation. Is it too much to ask to be completely and wholly comfortable with my surroundings? is it possible for me to feel completely at home anywhere? why is it so hard for me to just find some place to take cover and rest. I need a security blanket for it seems that i have lost mine.

Anyway, one must carry on-
Christmas list time!!!!

2. The Crosley AV Room Portable USB

I've kind of always wanted to own records but i don't exactly have a record player so i've also always have wanted a record player. Unfortunately my mother gave away hers when she was younger (we moved a lot so much of my
grandparent's things were left behind). it looks very pretty i think and even though i know that LP's aren't exactly the most environmentally friendly thing, at least i can go to thrift stores and get a bunch of older stuff right?
the price tag on this is $160 and can be found on

3.The Vampire Weekend LP

An amazing Record to go with the Amazing Record Player/ turntable =3
brought to you by a price of $14.98 at

4. WeSC Oboe Headphones

So i just like big headphones but haven't really gotten around to getting them (too many other projects going on i suppose) and these are very cute i think ^_^
brought to you at a price of $50 by, once again,

5. Miss Dior Cherie

I found a sample of this in a Teen Vogue magazine. Usually, perfume scents disgust me but i fell in love with this one- it's so expensive though! i tried to find the price at Macy's (cause that's where i got this pic) but couldn't find it... at amazon though, a 1oz perfume spray is about $50

6. Midnight Fantasy by Britney Spears

I LOVE this perfume!!!! i bought it once at the airport on the way back to the US from London and had the hardest time finding it anywhere else BUT i did manage to find this perfume on (thank you amazon!!! =D) at $26.87 for a 3.4oz perfume spray

Ok so that's it for today. manage to kill some time but not enough...
Back to cleaning and being bored

Peacing it <3

Thursday, December 4, 2008


The Last Ripper, blows my mind....

*actually, that was all i was going to write but then i decided to add more =3
soo...finals week after this!!!! O.O
not ready, like at all- chinese and Econ are going to kill me.

I've been updating the blog, making it look nicer and stuff and adding more stuff and whatevers... i dunno, i think it looks nice ^_^

Now that Thanksgiving is over and done with, LETS TALK ABOUT CHIRSTMAS!!!! =D
i LOVE Christmas, the best holiday EEEEVVVVEEEERRRR :P
there's snooow and hot chocolat
e and eggnog and decorations and presents and Christmas music and the super special holiday drinks at Starbucks and candy canes and...well, all that is good =3

So i decided to make myself a Christmas List- not like anyone here reading this would actually get me something- but just so i have a list (it's probably going to be a continuous thing :P)

so here it is- Tabby's super special CHRISTMAS LIST
number one:
a Digital SLR!!! >.<

i know i've said this before but i would LOVE that camera!!! here is the Canon Digi Rebel with 12.2 mega pixels and has a price tag of $639
...yeeeaaa... =/

tune in next time for the others!!! =D

Peacing it <3

Monday, December 1, 2008

haha, i LOVE these :P

no one judge me!!!! i love these little questionnaire things :P
(and sorry for the italics...i dunno, it wont go away!!! T_T)
1. What's your name?


2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
ummm... well oversized things, colorful tights and legging, bright colours, crazy accessories, and pieces that are unique and take imagination to pull off ^_^

3. Last thing you ate?
a Jimmy John's sub

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
Big Top (if you know what i'm talking about, you'll understand :P)

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
apartide O.O- yea that's right, i get front seat

6. Last person you hugged?
my dad before boarding the plane back to school

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
i hope, but i was never good at telling :P

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
hrm..i suppose...

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
i like my eyes because they're big and my hand because they're thin

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?

11. Who is your best friend?
my buddy Ashley and my buddy Rebecca ^_^

12. What time of the day is it?

13. Who/What made you angry today?
My writing class for being impossible for all Tabby's everywhere =/

14. Baseball or Football?
Football as in soccer? in that case FUTBOL!!!!! jaja

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
not yet ;)

16. Favorite type of Food?
ummm Jamaican because we have the best of everything (trust me, we do...)

17. Favorite holiday:

18. Do you download music:
all the time ;p
but acutally through rhapsody so i guess i'm not as BA as some other ppl

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
well not if i really, REALLY need socks... (then they just need to smell clean i guess- wow, this is embarassing)

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
Well i probably can because i study chinese, as long as it means something absolutely awsm tho, none of that 'love, dreamer, happyness' crap- boring. might as well put a freaking cherry or flower or butterfly on your body, very original...

21. Would you date the person that posted this?
I took this from another blog because i'm a loser like that. i wouldn't date me tho- that's silly! :P

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
I wish...who's up for it?

23. Do you love anyone?
hrm...not anyone romantically... =/
can we stop talking about relationships?!?!?!?!!! T_T

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
not on guys, it makes them look like losers. Girls, hrm...i wouldn't like to see it on others but i probably would get it and go for an impossible colour like purple cause it would look cool ^____^

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
Nope, and i don't really plan on doing it

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
No. Again, no real interest for that kind of stuff...

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
YEAH!!!! creepers...
but i think every girl has to go through that. THAT'S WAT PEPPER SPRAY IS FOR!!! =D

28. How many pets do you have?
well at College my roomie has two fishies which i could, i guess, call mine. At home a have a little kitty named Happy ^_^

29. Have you met a real redneck?
nope, and i'm not planning to- i'd prbably get shot

30. How is the weather right now?

31. What are you listening to right now?
the sound of girls screaming randomly outside, but i was listening to vampire weekend earlier on (Oxfod Comma!!!! =D)

32. What is your current favorite song?
ummm... i would have to say...hrm...argh!!! i dunno!!!! T_T
well here are a few song that i'm kind of inlove with currently:
Oxford Comma- Vampire weekend
What New York Used to Be- The Kills
Living on a Prayer- Bon Jovi
Tristesse/Joie & Je Veux Te Voir- Yelle
so i guess a mixture of that ^_^

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Twilight!!! and don't worry, i'm not a freaky fan. it wa an ok movie but i definately had it' :P

34. Do you wear contacts?
well yea, but rarely (my amazing glasses are too cool for contacts ;p)

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
my dorm, the cafeteria, class i dunno...

36. What are you afraid of?
being just average

37. How many piercings have you had?
nothing special. my ears right now...

38. What piercings do you want?
i'm saving up to get my belly button pierced soon :P

39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
A butt load! sooo many things about God that i can't begin to tell you in just a few words.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
A tall white mocha with skim milk ^_^

41. What Magazines are you reading?
Teen vogue and seventeen (hey! don't judge :P)

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
Nope, and i don't really want to either- who wants to pull a Dick Chaney move =3

43. Are you missing someone?
hrm, well i just came back from home so not really...

44. Favourite TV show?
DOCTOR WHO!!!! Torchwood, The Office, Gossip Girl, Ugly Betty, I Love the 70's,80's,90's, new millenium, and the read of them; Countdown

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
Haha, i almost didn't know what you were talking about so obviously NO

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Nah! i'm one of a kind

47. What celeb do you look like one...

48. Who would you like to see right now?
ummm...i dunno...well i do- a certain someone... :P

49. Favorite movie of all time?
Pirates of the caribbean 1 and 2

50. Do you find yourself loved?
Well somtimes, then sometime i feel very lonely and i get sad...

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
who hasn't? but noting bad. Prolly just something stupid from when i was a little kid

52. Favorite smell?
um, well freshly printed paper (LOVE that smell), oooo- D&G's cologne for men (i dunno which one but one of them just makes me melt), aaaaaaaannnnnnd the smell of the lysol air freshner :P

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
extra butter ALL THE WAAAAAAY!

54. What's something that really bugs you?
People who are rude and disrespectful to others.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Billie Jean is not my Lover...
i think that should aswer that

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
Yo quiero Taco Bell yo!

57. What's your favorite perfume?
Midnight fantasy. i just discovered another one but i can't remember the name at the moment...

58. Favorite baseball team?
pass. not a big fan

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
nope, nor an 1-800 number (which would be more likely in the US)

60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
I'm gonna say something like 3 days (i'm pretty sure i have, i just cant remember it)

61. Last time you went bowling?
Haha! like sophomore year! :P

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Hrm... maybe a bus? OOO i know. in a mall close to me, there is a little playground thing for kids to play and adults to sit and rest for a while. I accidentally slept in there by myself, with all my purchases under a proped up arm waiting for my mother and sister to come out of a store.

63. Who was your last phone call?
Haha, Jimmy Johns :P

64. Last time you were at work?
Wow! actually um, last tuesday

65. What's the closest orange object to you?
Well i do have an orange hat on my head, there's an orange notebook to m right, i have orange on my inner tank, i have orange on my wallet over to my right too...

Peacing It <3

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Thankful

As many know (hopefully) this past Thursday was Thanksgiving so i decided to make myself a little list of the things that I am thankful for ^_^:

1. God- For being my everything
2. My Family for supporting me in all ways
3. My buddy Ashley for being my favourite ^_^
4. Chipotle for being the burrito of my life (yea, it made 4 :P)
5. bicycles for saving my life O.O
6. Pocky for being so delicious
7. The first snow of the year for making me smile
8. my cameras from capturing my life
9.The UK for consisting of AMAZING accents (lol- yes! all of you ^_^)
10. America for electing BARACK OBAMA as my brand spankin' new President =D

i think that's a good list right there ^_^
on another note, i would like to say that i did end up watching Twilight the other night and it was ridiculous :P
i'm not going to like Robert Pattinson(is that how u spell it O.o? w/e...) is pretty good looking and he seems a of it which i think is cute so =3
but that movie- can someone explaine to me why anyone would explain to me why anyone would want an Edward Collwen??? (is that how u spell it???? u kno, i really don't care :P)
he's a stalker, he wants to drink her blood, he almost killed her, blah blah blah (the list could go on) but ALL of this should be ok because you know what, he is pretty darn good looking

Wah Waaaah :P

i'm sorry, i'm not sure if that would be worth it
but i think i undserstand the whole making out/vampire mix- ooo dangerous ;)

ok well that's all from me, my mother is naging me to start getting ready for church/ the plane

Peacing it <3

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Under Pressure!


soooo much pressure!- finals week is coming up and i'm freaking out T_T...
i was going to take some pictures today buuuuut that didn't happen in the end (not enough subjects to work with). I know that Sunday would have been a better day but i'm leaving right after church so that wasn't going to work out... =/

if anything, at least i'm back home right? i literaly spent the first three days (wed, thurs, and fri) in bed and in the house (ok i lied, i did go out and shop a little friday morning :P)

i cant wait to come home again T_T

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Old Pictures- it's about time

Hullo Hullo!
LOADS to do, and so much to pack... T_T
i dunno why i ALWAYS wait untill the last moment to pack my stuff... but i'm bringing a lot of crap home too so...

even though i have a lot to do, i still managed to waste some time on the internet and you know what? i Think i'll finally put up some of those photos from Italia!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'm just chillin'

Wow- i can't believe that i'm finally going home tomorrow...TOMORROW!!! O.O
how long has it been, three four months now? how time flies by
i hate it when time flies by like this, it makes you regret not stopping every now and then to take in what is happening around you.

I think this is something that happens as you grow older- probably because you end up being involved in everything, having to deal with an infinite amount of stuff, and worrying about all aspects of your life.

Classes are really going bad right now- not sure if i'm going to make it out alive in some of them. The good news, though, is that if i do make
it out alive, i will be a standing sophomore by next semester AND if i survive next semester i'll will end the year with 48 credits =)

Lot's of stuff to show you! so i've been bored recently and i've ended up looking at different designers and stuff like that. so i'll let you in on some of my life :P

now don't judge me on my analysis ok? because honestly i'm not a very BIG follower of fashion and design but i am quite interested in it so i do take note of what i like and what i don't like, which designers i like (not so much the ones that i don't) and i like to see if anything new is gonna be popping up in the next season (you know, so i can start incorporating stuff into my outfits now =)...)

I decided i LOVE Anna Sui- her clothes are sooo cute! =3i think what i like the most is that the colours are so bright!!!
and i think it's about time that we have more bright colours for spring

DKNY was ok but i really liked this blazer concept that they have

you like the blazer, i know it :P
those sneakers with
the dress that's pretty sweet too
all very 80's ^_^

I wasn't a big fan of Jill Stuart either but i like how flowy this outfit is

I like the big chunky jewelry especially ^_^

Marc Jacobs' spring line was also very colourful but i didn't really like how much patterns it had- a lot of designers did that i think (well of the ones that i
looked at)

Marc by Marc J was another
story tho, i really liked some of the dresses

i think i like the first dress because it reminds me of a blanket that i used to have when i was younger. It's really cute, i really like it a lot. I would love to have that dress most definately ^_^. And what did i tell you? sneakers with a dress? it's pretty hard core, i like it.

There's this one outfit that Luella has that i think looks pretty in an ugly way kind of?
i dunno, i just like it- it clashes but then it grows on you ^_^

The shoes were a good choice too, and usually i hate pale purples :P

Rag & Bone is looking pretty hard core. not as bright- or springy for that matter- but still cool

See how that blazer thing came back? i love it!!! soo excited!!!! =D
what do you think that's called? a blazer dress maybe? i dunno...

Finally, i've come to re-LOVE Ruffian- this line is soo hard core i love it <3>

i kind of love those capis (the first one). And there's that blazer thing again...what did i tell you... :P

I also just became a fan of Trock (also known as Timelord Rock). Basically it's Doctor Who inspired music and, yes, it's amazing.
you might have heard of Wrock which is Harry Potter Rock- yes it's kind of like that but better :P
i so wish i played a musical instrument that was practical for a band so i could make my own Trock- but i don't. plus none of my Doctor Who watching friends have musical talent so that wouldn't work either...
some links for anyone who would want to know more about Tock:

i suppose i will have to update the blog on my Italy pictures next time i guess? i dunno, maybe i'll never do it... i hope so tho ^_^

Peacing it <3

Monday, November 24, 2008

To Fall in love with a Camera

sooo i'm finally going home this week (i think i'm finally ready to ^_^). Kind of excited, though i'm still upset that my parents do not respect my feelings enough to kick my little sister out of my room- i honestly don't care if i'm 12 or so hours away from home, it's still my room.

so i took some pictures this past week and i'm excit
ed to put them up!!
i didn't realize how much i missed my camera until i p
icked it up again ^_^

Though i would LOVE a DSLR, i think it would be more practical if i asked for a professional photoshop software for christmas instead. Think about how amazing my pics would be then??? ^_^

i guess while i'm at it i should put up those pictures from italy that i took, but i just don't feel like it at the moment. maybe next time ^___^

Peacing it <3

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A lovely dayyyy ^_____^

I finally feel like i'm having a good day after two weeks of hell O.O
I mean, i woke up early enough- did enough homework to not get stressed out between classes, i look pretty darn cute today (not the greatest outfit, but i look good enough :P) i wore my contacts finally, did my hair all pretty, finally put on some make-up, actually followed what was going on in Chinese class today and here i am. I'm even blogging/doing homework before work!!! =3

i have been sick these past few days (it may have been bad to run out in the cold on election night for like 1.5hrs :P) but i'm getting better- i love how my parents to trust me to be able to keep myself healthy now that i'm in college- i obviously don't have it in me to take care of myself...

but it's all good cause today is a good day
i feel like i should still be taking pictures but i haven't been able to b/c of work, and school, and stress- and now it's really cold and gloomy so i can't anymore T_T

i also need to get around to processing my roll of film that I've had with me for about a month *oops!*
i don't even remember all the pictures that i have on it...but i know that it's a kodak and i'm not a big fan of Kodak- it's probably just a bunch of filler pictures- i have a bunch of fuji film that still needs to be used up ^_^

i kind of feel bad having such wastefull habits- like taking photos with my slr usues up a bunch of resources like paper and plastic and contributes to the making of harmful chemicals (the list can go on). I also LOVE shopping- for jackets and dresses and sweaters and shirts and accessories and shoes and scarves and belts and hats and everything else inbetween. Plus i kind of have this thing about buying used stuff- like i do! but then it take me a LONG time for me to get over the fact that they are used and i feel dirty just tuching it (even if i just antibacteria washed in my washing machine) =/
i do buy a lot of my scarves second hand tho- it just took me a really REALLY long time to actually wear them b/c of my problem...

Peacing it <3

Friday, November 7, 2008

Infinite Divine

I did my devos in Starbucks again today (finally) and it's so weird that I don't realize how much i miss spending time in God's word until i finally push myself to do it and then i feel so much more at peace... ^_^

The song that's on my heart right now i guess
it's called Infinite Divine
here are the words if you wanna sing along:

Infinite Divine
with all my mind
i praise you
God i Thank you
Lord of Ancient Days
To you i raise
my hands to
worship you for

all my day your name i'll sing to
give all glory to my king

Lord of all that's right
with all your might
please hold me
father take me
into your arms save
save me from harm
without my guide
keep my steps right

to your glory i will live by
Your word only unto thee

Yea, it's a pretty cool song
I like it :P

Peacing it <3

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The End of America's Dark Ages???

Maybe that title is a bit too strong? i don't really care actually because i feel like a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. President Barack Hussein Obama (why should we be ashamed of his middle name???) some say anti-christ, some say muslim some say the end of America as we know it. That's just a load of bull and i'm tired of people saying things like that. anti- christ? no doubt that Bush fit the anti-christ description in 2004 than Obama does now. That muslim thing is beyond a lie and has no grounding to it. Tells us a lot about America and how we think right? Black guy with a funny name and an African dad- he must be an ARAB!!!! and as we all know, all Arabs are eeeeviiiiiiil- way to be ignorant America, i'm real proud of you...

End of America as we know it- i agree fully. It is the end of America as we know it. THANK YOU JESUS!!! Let's take a look in history- post WW2 era Europe finally stepped down from its world power status (the two world wars and casualties took a real toll on the economy). This left America and the USSR who fought to fill the void- the Cold War. And what's a war without weapons? With Europe out of the way and fear to fuel the fire. America started pouring into the expansion of their military during 'peace' times while Russia did the same. In the end though, Stalin's Communism folded under pressure and capitalism prevailed. Winning the title of world power solidified our attitudes on our role in the global community which basically went along the lines of 'this is our world and you are our minions.' even though we won our war, we just couldn't put our guns down and started strutting around with our nukes in hand bombing our way through problems.
September 11th, 2001- someone decided to fight back. A few Muslims run our own planes into our own crap and we start freaking out. For the first time the horror of war is brought to our home land. The crap we do to other smaller, ill-equip countries is done right in our backyards. Now don't get me wrong- i don't excuse what those people did on that day. It was a horrible tragedy and no matter what a country does, or is, there is no excuse to kill innocent people at any time but the message was still the same- 'America, freaking get off of your high horse, this is how the other half lives'. Quickly the world came to comfort us but we decided to respond with big sticks and bigger guns. Turning on anyone who wasn't for our askew cause.

Now, FINALLY, our deeds catch up with us. Our use of weapons and of war has made more enemies than friends, our economy is starting to buckle under all the accumulating pressure, and with the world that we have found ourselves in today it is time for us to start changing our tactics and think of different ways to be influenial. Anyone who thinks that talking with our fists is still the way to go is an idiot who refuses to look at the history as a whole.

Speaking about the economy, why do we rebuke socialism like it's pure evil? Capitalism isn't exactly our saving grace either. Remember the Gilded Age? you know, the time when the government had no real control over the economy (as close to a free market we got to). The time when American markets were ruled by Big businesses who shut out any kind of competition and worked their employees to the bone with little pay or benefits? The time when politicians didn't listen to the people but, instead, to these political machines so that they could keep their funding (hrm sounds like lobbyists)? Is that really the position we want to go back to? i don't know, but i'd rather have at least SOME government intervention than none- look at our own history please before condemning us to our own personal hell.
and about Obama's idea of raising taxes- while we're on the subject of the economy- yea, he wants to raise taxes but he also wants to lower taxes. It's already been proven that a flat tax doesn't work. In fact, it makes no sense to have a flat tax. A tax amount could be too high for the poor and too little for the rich. dont even bring up a cut on taxes all together because when the ppl are struggling they want the government to help relieve some of the pain a recession brings. yea he wants to redistribute the wealth but that is because a recognizable phenomena is happening right now where the gap between the rich and the poor is growing and the existing middle class is quickly fading away. Yes, this was an incident that happened during the Gilded age as well. Now how do you fix a growing gap? you help make the poor not as poor. How do you make the poor less poor? give them money. But where do you get that money? well from the rich. It's a simple fact of life. We can't make money pop out of nowhere. And if we want to fix our economy without adding more to this debt that we have accumulated we need to start circulating the wealth that we already have in order to help make more money in general. Plus, Obama is including more of the middle class into that plan so not as many ppl have raised taxes. everyone also seems to forget that there is also a tax cut for people under this line. Apparently everyone is happy with helping the poor until it means using our own money to do so. Well that doesn't sound very Christian. and honestly, do you really think he's going to drastically raise taxes for ppl that are just above that line? really?

If you don't agree with the changes that are going to take place, and feel like you can't possibly wait and see what's going to happen then fine, move to canada (like many ppl say) lets see how you function there. They are ten times more liberal and socialist than America would possibly be. In fact, move anywhere else decent to live in the world and you'll see that your best bet is to just sit your butt down in the old US of A and DEAL WITH IT. Like Obama said in his acceptance speech last night, America isn't going to be changed by him, it's going to be our jobs to change it. To be involved in our own politics; make it a personal responsibility to update ourselves on the issues circulating Washington. We don't elect a president to make all the decisions so we don't have to; we elect a president- and the ppl in all offices- for efficiency. So that our voice will be heard quicker and with more results. There's no need for whining and ppl complaining over how Obama is the end of America and all we stand for. All that noise is annoying and useless. If you have a problem with the government, do your research, talk to your governors, make movements with the people in your own communities and give yourself a united voice. THAT's how you solve the problem's in America- i mean how else do you think we got out of the Gilded Age?

Stop whining and start getting involved.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

Avoiding a Paper

I have a paper to write by tonight and like all other papers, i'm mentally distracting myself with the help of flickr, facebook, and now blogspot :P

It's raining today and not in the nice way. You probably know what i mean-
when the rain is pleasant, it's barely chilly out and the drops just fall from the sky with tiny little plops all around you. Everything looks weary and sad but yet still manages to reach a state of absolute peace. The sound of the rain drops hitting the surface of the earth is subtle enough for you to zone out but you don't really want to because it soothes your mind- it makes you forget everything but what your doing right then and there. Rain like that makes you want to stop for a moment and experience what you are doing in the now. If i had all the time in the world i think one thing i would do is sit on a bench in a park somewhere and, with my umbrella, just watch the rain fall. And no joke, not trying to be REAL real artsy or anything (though i would love to be seen as that one day :)...), but i think that that kind of noisy silence really does someone good. it's kind of similar to watching the waves on a beach; you hear the roar of the ocean but it still feels like your listening to absolutely nothing.

BUT i'm getting off track- anyway, like i said, today WASN'T that kind of rain, it was the other kind of rain. The rain that the universe sends when it wants to release its frustration on the world. That kind of rain sucks! cause your there with your ghetto, peace of crap, 5 dollar umbrella; a hood that's too small for your head and a jacket that's too thin for the wall of ice that's cutting through your exposed skin and then you know, that that day is going to be a crappy day. Yes! that was today and now i think i'm close to developing a cold!!! >.<
hopefully the weather will be better tomorrow becasue i have to work and i'm riding my friends bike to get there...

btw: i use 'universe' casually. it's not like i believe it but i think it's wrong to blame God for misfortunes in our lives, jokingly or not. I could go on a rant about that one and defend my position but i'm not up to it right now...

Some good things happened today though! first off, i wore my cardigan from American Apparel today and it's amamzing!!!! =D thank goodness i work at that store now because it's an amazing buy :P
(you all at home can get it here!!! )
trust me, it's worth it- it doesn't look that warm, i know, but it really is pretty thick for a cardigan- plus you can wear it with anything!!! =D
Second off, i found out that there is a proper Oriental food store close by me and i'm in the mood for mooncakes and pocky (yes, i know, it's past the mid-Autumn festival but hey! maybe there's some left still???)

well i better leave now and go to dinner (and not do that essay... :P)

Peacing it <3

Monday, October 20, 2008

Hazy weather

i'm going through some crazy times right now- you know that point where there's nothing terribly wrong but your in a haze? scattered? I can't really remember what happened these past few days and if i do, it feels like it was such a long time ago. Even yesterday feels distant. In this haze i can't even bring myself to be applied properly. I'm just everywhere. I feel tired, i feel lazy, i feel anxious, i feel sorrow, i feel weakness, i feel peace- i feel empty yet overflowing with unsatisfying waters.

i'm not sure if i like this state of uncertainty, but i know that i cannot afford it. I have too much to do, i have no time to waste yet i seem to always let time slip out of my hand. In one sense i feel helpless and like i have gone beyond the point of recovery yet i know that if i allow myself to be overcome by that reality i may never pick myself back up again

how much longer will i do this to myself?

Peacing it-

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Eat, Sleep, Procrastinate

Procrastination is a baaaaaaad habit...just thought you should know.
I say this because i had this whole entire weekend to do all me homework and then some and i haven't even completed one assignment- don't worry though, i'll figure out something...

anyway, i had a boring day today too- i can't wait for the week to start finally ^_^. Unfortunate for me, my school doesn't take off for Columbus day so i do have classes tomorrow T_T.

update: i decided i'd call American Apparel and see what was up. Apparently they were either going to call us today or tomorrow to tell us what hours we were doing for this week. That at least put my mind to rest a little- though i still sat by my phone all day waiting for someone to call.

you know what, the way i rant and rave over how i have nothing to do all the time makes me look like i have no friends. I promise i hang out with people- i'm not some creepy girl who sits by her computer and wastes the day away comlaining about how she has no friends- i just think life is just being uneventful right now. Nothing to do, nothing to see...
Darn the midwest! i miss having the convenience of the East Coast. There's always something to do in the city- Boston, New York, Washington DC, you name it. There's nothing to do here, it's just plain old surberbia America.

Ok, so this has really been bothering me. There is some kind of bug/bee/wasp like thing in between my window and the blinds and it scares me. I can sear it bussing cause it's trapped but i'm not sure what it is exactly. is it gonna sting me? is it just a really big fly i dunno!!! T_T
i'm deathly afraid of bugs and i've been trying to spray it with that bug killer thing but i seem to always miss. it wont die!!! T_T

ok well i'm going to leave this distraction to do some 'homework' :P

Saturday, October 11, 2008

an even more uneventful saturday!

So i just realized that i shouldn't have been complaining last saturday because i most definitely went out to watch a movie all three nights. Today, however, i did nothing of the sort. I stayed in my room ALL day. i wasn't even productive- i just wasted the day on facebook and flickr :P. BUT i did manage to do some laundry, which is always good ^_^.

You know what? i actually made a friend today (which is the best thing to do when you find yourself suddenly friendless right?) She's an international student from China- i know, it's exciting. We had a good talk and confessed our love for Gossip Girl (no one is allowed to judge, that is an amazing show and until you watch it you have no say as to how good it is) and she even gave me a few presents- a fan and little key chain, what a doll ^_^. I felt so bad taking them though cause all i did was invite her to hang out with me. Next thing you know, i get two presents with nothing to give in return T_T. I figured though that not taking them would probably be an insult- like how it's an insult in some cultures to not finish the food you are given.
ok, so i guess in that case i did have an eventful saturday but it wasn't as eventful as it could have been..

so i fell asleep in the middle of writing this post (not like i passed out on the comp, i just got really REALLY distracted) so i'm finishing this late sunday morning ^_^. I know, i need to get that checked out- STILL waiting for AA to call. I think i'm either being very impatient or they're being really slow or they scammed me. I'm starting to re-look at that last possibility... WHY WON'T THEY CALL?!?!?!

ok i'm done ranting for now
Peacing it <3>

Friday, October 10, 2008

Peaceful Friday

So it's friday, i've done my midterms, the night is still young- and i'm in my dorm room, watching I Love the 70's Vol.2 with nachos, salsa, and a half empty vitamin water. All of my friends have gone home for the weekend and i'm stuck here, doing nothing. Well i guess that's what happens when you live nowhere close to the college you attend and everyone else does, right? Yea, so i'm a bit bored- still waiting for that freaking call!!!!! O.o but whatever, i'll be patient? maybe tomorrow??? i hate waiting!!!! T_T

Well today was pretty nice, very nice actually! After Chinese class (which i had a hard time with all week...) i went to Starbucks for the first time. I don't know why i waited this long to go there actually, especially like it's always been a mini dream of mine to be a regular at Starbucks. You know, sitting in a quiet corner next to the window, sipping my white mocha, writing some kind of novel that talks about the reality and simplistic nature of life (i know, i'm weird). Anyway, i got to do that today but instead of a nice quiet corner with a window, it was a windowless corner next to the bathroom and instead of writing an epic novel, i was journaling and writing scripture in my notebook. I didn't mind the latter so much because i did have a revelation of some kind during that hour.
I realized that being in this life without being consistently in God's word is like trying to swim in the middle of the ocean. Yeah, you can survive but that's all it is- surviving. Think about it, you’re just floating there in life, the ocean; you're trying not to get overcome by the water. Suddenly a wave comes over you SWOOSH- you have enough time to get some air but next thing you know your under water again. All of those waves eventually just ware you down. Ya, some days the waters are calm but sometimes it's a hurricane and you feel like giving up. What's the point of dodging one wave after the other over and over? What’s the point of trying to stay alive with barely enough breath to make it past the last wave? What's the point of just surviving? Is life that important, that precious? Is life as it is worth having?
See, When you're in God's word, you know after you make that step of accepting Christ into your heart, you stop just surviving. From that moment, you start living. I know that sounds really REALLY corny and 'spiritual' but i am 100% serious. Your life is enhanced dramatically, you can get through the day, no matter how hard, with peace in your heart because you were able to just spend time with God and his word and just connect with him.
It just made sense to me. that's why- after a long time of being in God's word- when you miss a day or something it's a terrible day. That's because your body goes into shock. Your being goes from living to just surviving and it can't function properly. With that being said, i know one may think 'hey then wouldn't the bible be just a crutch?' but no not really. It's like when you take medicine after a surgery. When you take it, the pain goes away and you start feeling better but if you forget your daily dosage your body is suddenly in a state of shock- it's not used to the pain and you have a horrible day. Eventually, however, you get used to the pain and it doesn't faze you as much- that is until you end up dying from some kind of infection or the pain becomes slowly unbearable you kill yourself or something (not to be really depressing!!!). It's the same with God's word though, eventually your body gets used to the survival mode and next thing you know you're back where you started- just surviving one wave after the other.

On a lighter note (ha, great transition right?)! i visited Barnes and Noble today too. It was just so exiting!!! I mean i was already relaxed from my devotions, it was friday so i wasn't rushing to go anywhere, so i was completely free to just roam around and submerge myself in what is Barns and Nobles. Of course, i ended up spending almost $50 while i was there (i only wanted to spend $20 but things got out of hand :P). yea, but i came home totally relaxed and at peace and feeling good.

sometimes i feel like it's important to just stop. You know, take a moment to just free your mind of all the appointments and worries and just get lost in something- but something simple and small; like shopping for books. Hrm, probably not clothes just because the prices would always be something that you would have to think about but maybe cooking, sewing, not reading because you're putting a type of pressure on your mind. But maybe knitting, drawing (something in front of you nothing your thinking about), ooo taking pictures, not writing- too much mental stress. I think you get the picture but something like that. It doesn't necessarily need to be something mindless do but something simple enough for your mind not to work too hard at, yet consuming enough for your mind to get caught up with.

moving on though, i started this post in the early evening and ended it in the wee hours in the morning so i'm going to leave it at that. I get distracted waaaaay too easily ^_^

Peacing It <3