Friday, October 24, 2008

Avoiding a Paper

I have a paper to write by tonight and like all other papers, i'm mentally distracting myself with the help of flickr, facebook, and now blogspot :P

It's raining today and not in the nice way. You probably know what i mean-
when the rain is pleasant, it's barely chilly out and the drops just fall from the sky with tiny little plops all around you. Everything looks weary and sad but yet still manages to reach a state of absolute peace. The sound of the rain drops hitting the surface of the earth is subtle enough for you to zone out but you don't really want to because it soothes your mind- it makes you forget everything but what your doing right then and there. Rain like that makes you want to stop for a moment and experience what you are doing in the now. If i had all the time in the world i think one thing i would do is sit on a bench in a park somewhere and, with my umbrella, just watch the rain fall. And no joke, not trying to be REAL real artsy or anything (though i would love to be seen as that one day :)...), but i think that that kind of noisy silence really does someone good. it's kind of similar to watching the waves on a beach; you hear the roar of the ocean but it still feels like your listening to absolutely nothing.

BUT i'm getting off track- anyway, like i said, today WASN'T that kind of rain, it was the other kind of rain. The rain that the universe sends when it wants to release its frustration on the world. That kind of rain sucks! cause your there with your ghetto, peace of crap, 5 dollar umbrella; a hood that's too small for your head and a jacket that's too thin for the wall of ice that's cutting through your exposed skin and then you know, that that day is going to be a crappy day. Yes! that was today and now i think i'm close to developing a cold!!! >.<
hopefully the weather will be better tomorrow becasue i have to work and i'm riding my friends bike to get there...

btw: i use 'universe' casually. it's not like i believe it but i think it's wrong to blame God for misfortunes in our lives, jokingly or not. I could go on a rant about that one and defend my position but i'm not up to it right now...

Some good things happened today though! first off, i wore my cardigan from American Apparel today and it's amamzing!!!! =D thank goodness i work at that store now because it's an amazing buy :P
(you all at home can get it here!!! )
trust me, it's worth it- it doesn't look that warm, i know, but it really is pretty thick for a cardigan- plus you can wear it with anything!!! =D
Second off, i found out that there is a proper Oriental food store close by me and i'm in the mood for mooncakes and pocky (yes, i know, it's past the mid-Autumn festival but hey! maybe there's some left still???)

well i better leave now and go to dinner (and not do that essay... :P)

Peacing it <3

Monday, October 20, 2008

Hazy weather

i'm going through some crazy times right now- you know that point where there's nothing terribly wrong but your in a haze? scattered? I can't really remember what happened these past few days and if i do, it feels like it was such a long time ago. Even yesterday feels distant. In this haze i can't even bring myself to be applied properly. I'm just everywhere. I feel tired, i feel lazy, i feel anxious, i feel sorrow, i feel weakness, i feel peace- i feel empty yet overflowing with unsatisfying waters.

i'm not sure if i like this state of uncertainty, but i know that i cannot afford it. I have too much to do, i have no time to waste yet i seem to always let time slip out of my hand. In one sense i feel helpless and like i have gone beyond the point of recovery yet i know that if i allow myself to be overcome by that reality i may never pick myself back up again

how much longer will i do this to myself?

Peacing it-

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Eat, Sleep, Procrastinate

Procrastination is a baaaaaaad habit...just thought you should know.
I say this because i had this whole entire weekend to do all me homework and then some and i haven't even completed one assignment- don't worry though, i'll figure out something...

anyway, i had a boring day today too- i can't wait for the week to start finally ^_^. Unfortunate for me, my school doesn't take off for Columbus day so i do have classes tomorrow T_T.

update: i decided i'd call American Apparel and see what was up. Apparently they were either going to call us today or tomorrow to tell us what hours we were doing for this week. That at least put my mind to rest a little- though i still sat by my phone all day waiting for someone to call.

you know what, the way i rant and rave over how i have nothing to do all the time makes me look like i have no friends. I promise i hang out with people- i'm not some creepy girl who sits by her computer and wastes the day away comlaining about how she has no friends- i just think life is just being uneventful right now. Nothing to do, nothing to see...
Darn the midwest! i miss having the convenience of the East Coast. There's always something to do in the city- Boston, New York, Washington DC, you name it. There's nothing to do here, it's just plain old surberbia America.

Ok, so this has really been bothering me. There is some kind of bug/bee/wasp like thing in between my window and the blinds and it scares me. I can sear it bussing cause it's trapped but i'm not sure what it is exactly. is it gonna sting me? is it just a really big fly i dunno!!! T_T
i'm deathly afraid of bugs and i've been trying to spray it with that bug killer thing but i seem to always miss. it wont die!!! T_T

ok well i'm going to leave this distraction to do some 'homework' :P

Saturday, October 11, 2008

an even more uneventful saturday!

So i just realized that i shouldn't have been complaining last saturday because i most definitely went out to watch a movie all three nights. Today, however, i did nothing of the sort. I stayed in my room ALL day. i wasn't even productive- i just wasted the day on facebook and flickr :P. BUT i did manage to do some laundry, which is always good ^_^.

You know what? i actually made a friend today (which is the best thing to do when you find yourself suddenly friendless right?) She's an international student from China- i know, it's exciting. We had a good talk and confessed our love for Gossip Girl (no one is allowed to judge, that is an amazing show and until you watch it you have no say as to how good it is) and she even gave me a few presents- a fan and little key chain, what a doll ^_^. I felt so bad taking them though cause all i did was invite her to hang out with me. Next thing you know, i get two presents with nothing to give in return T_T. I figured though that not taking them would probably be an insult- like how it's an insult in some cultures to not finish the food you are given.
ok, so i guess in that case i did have an eventful saturday but it wasn't as eventful as it could have been..

so i fell asleep in the middle of writing this post (not like i passed out on the comp, i just got really REALLY distracted) so i'm finishing this late sunday morning ^_^. I know, i need to get that checked out- STILL waiting for AA to call. I think i'm either being very impatient or they're being really slow or they scammed me. I'm starting to re-look at that last possibility... WHY WON'T THEY CALL?!?!?!

ok i'm done ranting for now
Peacing it <3>

Friday, October 10, 2008

Peaceful Friday

So it's friday, i've done my midterms, the night is still young- and i'm in my dorm room, watching I Love the 70's Vol.2 with nachos, salsa, and a half empty vitamin water. All of my friends have gone home for the weekend and i'm stuck here, doing nothing. Well i guess that's what happens when you live nowhere close to the college you attend and everyone else does, right? Yea, so i'm a bit bored- still waiting for that freaking call!!!!! O.o but whatever, i'll be patient? maybe tomorrow??? i hate waiting!!!! T_T

Well today was pretty nice, very nice actually! After Chinese class (which i had a hard time with all week...) i went to Starbucks for the first time. I don't know why i waited this long to go there actually, especially like it's always been a mini dream of mine to be a regular at Starbucks. You know, sitting in a quiet corner next to the window, sipping my white mocha, writing some kind of novel that talks about the reality and simplistic nature of life (i know, i'm weird). Anyway, i got to do that today but instead of a nice quiet corner with a window, it was a windowless corner next to the bathroom and instead of writing an epic novel, i was journaling and writing scripture in my notebook. I didn't mind the latter so much because i did have a revelation of some kind during that hour.
I realized that being in this life without being consistently in God's word is like trying to swim in the middle of the ocean. Yeah, you can survive but that's all it is- surviving. Think about it, you’re just floating there in life, the ocean; you're trying not to get overcome by the water. Suddenly a wave comes over you SWOOSH- you have enough time to get some air but next thing you know your under water again. All of those waves eventually just ware you down. Ya, some days the waters are calm but sometimes it's a hurricane and you feel like giving up. What's the point of dodging one wave after the other over and over? What’s the point of trying to stay alive with barely enough breath to make it past the last wave? What's the point of just surviving? Is life that important, that precious? Is life as it is worth having?
See, When you're in God's word, you know after you make that step of accepting Christ into your heart, you stop just surviving. From that moment, you start living. I know that sounds really REALLY corny and 'spiritual' but i am 100% serious. Your life is enhanced dramatically, you can get through the day, no matter how hard, with peace in your heart because you were able to just spend time with God and his word and just connect with him.
It just made sense to me. that's why- after a long time of being in God's word- when you miss a day or something it's a terrible day. That's because your body goes into shock. Your being goes from living to just surviving and it can't function properly. With that being said, i know one may think 'hey then wouldn't the bible be just a crutch?' but no not really. It's like when you take medicine after a surgery. When you take it, the pain goes away and you start feeling better but if you forget your daily dosage your body is suddenly in a state of shock- it's not used to the pain and you have a horrible day. Eventually, however, you get used to the pain and it doesn't faze you as much- that is until you end up dying from some kind of infection or the pain becomes slowly unbearable you kill yourself or something (not to be really depressing!!!). It's the same with God's word though, eventually your body gets used to the survival mode and next thing you know you're back where you started- just surviving one wave after the other.

On a lighter note (ha, great transition right?)! i visited Barnes and Noble today too. It was just so exiting!!! I mean i was already relaxed from my devotions, it was friday so i wasn't rushing to go anywhere, so i was completely free to just roam around and submerge myself in what is Barns and Nobles. Of course, i ended up spending almost $50 while i was there (i only wanted to spend $20 but things got out of hand :P). yea, but i came home totally relaxed and at peace and feeling good.

sometimes i feel like it's important to just stop. You know, take a moment to just free your mind of all the appointments and worries and just get lost in something- but something simple and small; like shopping for books. Hrm, probably not clothes just because the prices would always be something that you would have to think about but maybe cooking, sewing, not reading because you're putting a type of pressure on your mind. But maybe knitting, drawing (something in front of you nothing your thinking about), ooo taking pictures, not writing- too much mental stress. I think you get the picture but something like that. It doesn't necessarily need to be something mindless do but something simple enough for your mind not to work too hard at, yet consuming enough for your mind to get caught up with.

moving on though, i started this post in the early evening and ended it in the wee hours in the morning so i'm going to leave it at that. I get distracted waaaaay too easily ^_^

Peacing It <3


sorry it's been a few days- midterms *rolls eyes*

so i haven't started work yet. I've been waiting by my phone for the past two days and no wanted calls have come yet T_T. haha, i've never been so excited to start work ^_^

so it's late at night and i'm here with an open box of sugar- but it's only semi open. like i have push back the flap far enough with my finger to let the sugar pour out of the box, otherwise, the flap closes on itself. While going though this delicate process of pouring the tiny bit of sugar into my palm, i couldn't help but think about how this sugar wouldn't be as sweet if it was, you know, in a plastic cup with a spoon. The sugar tastes better, solely because it's harder to get. Then i had one of those moments where i thought about life and about how half of my favourite items i love just because they were hard acquire.

yea it was a cheesy moment and a pointless thought but i decided i'd share it anyway ^_^

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Guess Who has a Job?!?!

Hullo Hullo!

So guess whose employed??? yes! me ^_^

crazy story actually- well i think it's crazy, it might actually be a normal story but i'll tell it anyway. So i got my outfit together to go out and, if you know me, i'm wearing something definitely Tabby but i was kind of worrying that it may be too out there (like maybe the managers are some oldies who aren't used to but then figured to just go out like i was, partially because i was running out of time, and partially because i figured it was American Apparel and they should be used to crazy styles.
Anyway, i get there and after seeing the people interviewing me, i was glad i went with my instincts (one guy was wearing blue suspenders and a white fedora!!!). They immediately told me they liked my personal style (which is always
nice to hear), and also how i had worked in retail before- specifically Banana Republic. In the end they told me that they really liked me but my hours didn't really match up with what they had in mind but to definitely stay in contact and come in when i saw another 'now hiring' in the window. Though i didn't get a job, i was too happy to notice (they liked my style! that made my day...) when i came home though, i was bummed because i thought of how awsm it would be to work there and- low and behold- i get a message on my phone from one of the managers telling me that they really like me and wanted to see me tomorrow to do my paper work!!! =D
crazy huh?

well i think you at least deserve to see this job winning outfit so here it is (sorry about the picture clarity, it's a really old digital... T_T)
hrm, here the scarf looks pretty frumpy but i don't feel like retaking it. originally it you didn't see the shirt under the cardigan and you really didn't see the two separate tales of the scarf. but whatever, i'll live.

While I'm uploading pictures, i might as well put up the two pieces i got from the vintage/thrift store-

these are just the amazing sunglasses i found :P

And this is the two piecer i found (the flash doesn't do the colour justice...)

i think i'm actually liking those sunglasses pic- may just use them for the profile but we'll see ^_^

yes, well that's all that really happened today besides church (which was amazing by the way!!!). It's an half hour till eight and i still haven't really started my homework... =3
waaaaaay to much reading to do (that's what you get for doing IR right?)

Peacing It <3

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Lazy Saturday......Zzz......

Yes, back again! nothing really interesting happened today, mostly because i slept it all away ^_^
woke up fairly early this morning to get my hair done. it was about time because ever since I've been living in Michigan, i haven't gotten around to getting my hair done and, if your black, you NEED to get your hair done. I don't know why i did it, but i decided to go to this student hair institution thing and they set me up with this white hair dresser. don't get me wrong, i have no bias against white hair dressers- some are actually pretty darn good with black hair- but note the key word 'some.' usually they don't know what to do with black hair and treat it like it's white hair. So, in my case specifically, my hair looks pretty nice and all, it just that i have like this layer of kinky hair around my scalp because she didn't dry the roots at all. You know what? at these salon institutions, they should teach all their students how to deal with black hair because, honestly, black people are such a cash cow when it comes to the hair industry. I mean, if you are black professional, like my mother, you probably go to the hair dresser every week to get it washed, then relax it like every other month. How many times do white people go to the hair dresser? not that much i don't think- and like it's so easy now a days to dye your hair at home, there is probably less and less regulars coming through the door right? i dunno, i just think that training stylists for processed black hair would be a good move- some one should tell those institutions that.

On a completely different note, I'm thinking of applying for a job at American Apparel. I've worked in retail before (actually I've only worked in retail. But that's because i love to shop and i love fashion :P) so i think i have a shot ^_^. I would put my outfits up on here but that's what flickr is for right? ^_^. Anyway It's quite a walk though to get from my dorm to the store and when it get's colder out, i'll probably freeze to death in this Michigan weather, but hey, the extra money would help a lot.

miterms coming up this week!!! really nervous because i'm waaaaay behind on reading (yeaaa, i need to get on that...). Everything will work out in the end though- well i hope...
Church tomorrow at like 9:30- so early!!! T_T
so i really should be sleeping right now (i know, my sleeping pattern sucks)

Peacing it <3

Friday, October 3, 2008

trying something new!!

Wow! ok so yes, i started my own blog- it's a little weird, and under a bit of pressure but hopefully i'll be fine ^_^
well i dunno what to do or where to start so i'll just rant- i'm good at senseless talk :P

ok well how about we start with the name. Jabberwocky has been a favourite word of mine recently and like I'm really bad at naming things, i named my blog Jabberwocky! Sorry to say, i really didn't know much about the word except the dictionary meaning. so i did a little background reading- read the poem, read the first chapter of Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll and stuff like that- and just said to myself, 'self- screw it and name the freaking blog Jabberwocky' so i did! and here we are.

I suppose the one thing that i was most worried about was that the name would make me seem more clever and wittier than i really am- really there's no meaning to the name, i did it just because i could. You know, that's probably a good thing. I just applied the meaning of the word by spontaniously naming something. There was no hidden meaning or sense to the name, it's just there. ha! that's pretty sweet- maybe i am clever :P

So i guess the best thing to say is that i'll do my best to update this page everyday but i'll probably take unconcious breaks every once and a while- especially when i'm really busy. As long as i'm writing though, i'll try to be as honest and real as possible though as more people start reading my blog, the more self concious i'll be- hrm, you know what? screw people! i'll just say whatever and everyone is going to have to live with it. You don't have to read if you don't want to >.>

i wan't to start like pouring out my life story or something but i feel like that should be reserved for another time. there are so many crazy stuff that go though my head every day i'm going to have to write down everything i want to say but that's ok. If you can't follow my train of thought i'm sorry but you know, sometimes i can't either so it's all good.

untill next time yes?

peacing it <3